SNL Scorecard: Selena Gomez / Post Malone

It's hard to believe, but we're already approaching the end of May, which means Saturday Night Live is rapidly nearing the end of yet another season. Last weekend saw the penultimate episode of SNL's Season 47, a season that has been remarkable for its, well, un-remarkableness, for better and for worse. It's always an interesting thing to see whether the show is able to finish the season on a high, or if it really runs out of steam and fizzles down the stretch. From what I can remember, it tends to be the opposite of what you would expect; it was around this time last year when I found myself incredibly disappointed by the second-to-last episode of Season 46, featuring Keegan Michael-Key.

Fortunately, I wouldn't have to worry as much this time around about my expectations for this episode. Where last year's penultimate show featured one half of one my favorite comedy duos as host, and pop's biggest rising star Olivia Rodrigo as musical guest, this weekend's featured a host/musical guest combo that I was...well, not as excited about. That may come across harsher than I intend to; I don't vehemently dislike Selena Gomez nor Post Malone. The former, who was hosting for the first time, has released many a song that I consider a major bop, and I have really enjoyed her current hit show Only Murders In The Building. Truthfully, I just don't think she's a particularly good actress. And as for Post Malone, the guy has a fair amount of catchy and pleasant tunes, but there's been enough about his music and certainly his fanbase that has been off-putting to me over the years.

So, though I refused to enter in with a snarky attitude, my expectations for this episode's quality were pretty low compared to most others. Which is a good thing, because compared to most others, this episode was not very good. It certainly had some highlights, but more often than not, the sketches and writing were forgettable, and the energy from host and cast alike was lacking. It's in part a testament to this quietly solid season that this episode, which was still okay, was among the weakest of the year, but that doesn't render it any less disappointing that SNL appears to be limping across the finish line.

Here's the sketch-by-sketch breakdown of the 20th episode of the season:

Sketch of the Night

"Old Enough! Longterm Boyfriends!": 8/10

The hapless boyfriend/significant other continues to be a goldmine for comedy. In the manner of last year’s “Man Park,” this parody of the hit Japanese game show where adult boyfriends try to perform basic tasks (as opposed to young Japanese children) was hilarious without being too cutting, and didn’t overstay its welcome.

The Good

“Monologue": 7.5/10

Selena should be no stranger to the stage at this point, even at her somewhat young age, given her long career as both a singer and actress. Still, for a first-time host who claimed to be nervous, she was remarkably steady! This was a well-written monologue, and delivered well by the host. Her interplay with the various suitors from the cast, especially Punkie, was very good.

"Irish Play": 7/10

This felt like an old-school SNL or even Monty Python bit! It also was extremely similar to an underrated classic from a decade or so ago. It was hard not to compare this to that one, and I don’t think this version was quite as funny, mostly because of the somewhat anticlimactic ending. But it still was among the best of the night, with Kenan’s increasingly flustered stage director playing perfectly off of Cecily and Selena’s hapless actresses.

“Baby Monitor": 7/10

This was a very good 10-to-1 sketch, and in a pretty weak episode, has a justifiable argument for sketch of the night. There wasn’t much of an arc to this one, but Bowen Yang and Sarah Sherman being hopped-up, psychotic babies in a crib has enough hilarity in it that the writing doesn’t need to be stellar for this to be funny, as evidenced by Selena and several others breaking.

"Weekend Update": 7/10

Frankly, this was headed for a lower rating before the terrific last bit. Fresh off one of their best performances of a season that’s arguably been their strongest, this was back to being a pretty disappointing update from Che and Jost. There was no problem with their energy, but their various jokes were pretty toothless this time around, and an already lackluster set was hampered further by the unwelcome return of Baby Yoda. I love Kyle Mooney but cannot for the life of me understand why this is such a frequent recurring character; it’s just. not. funny. Fortunately, newbie and indisputable rising star Sarah Sherman rescued Update with a hilarious return as their “correspondent,” whose real job is mostly to troll Colin Jost.

“A Peek At Pico": 6.5/10

I didn’t really get the point of this sketch- it seemed like there wasn’t really a joke, beyond two co-hosts that came across as Kardashian sisters but with Hispanic accents. That said, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. Both Selena and Melissa Villaseñor sold it well— it was probably the host’s best acting of the night —and it was so good to see a Melissa-centric sketch for once.

"Inventor Documentary": 6/10

It’s always good to see Steve Martin, even if it’s in pre-taped format. This was another sketch that relied on pretty juvenile humor, but fortunately I enjoy juvenile humor. I liked seeing the creative ways they shoehorned the inception of different gag gifts into being related to Aidy Bryant’s character.

“Intuition": 6/10

This is like the PG-rated, comedy version of Kendrick Lamar’s new song “We Cry Together.” I didn’t think I would ever say this, but Post Malone’s cameo rescued this sketch, bumping it up from pretty forgettable to ‘more funny than not.’

“Johnny Depp and Amber Heard Trial Cold Open": 6/10

I give this one credit for at least finding a way to parody the trial in a way that didn’t feel totally distasteful. When I realized what this sketch was going to be about, I sighed out loud; I, like many I assume, am so tired of hearing about this trial and seeing social media flooded with hot takes, and I was worried this was going to be in a similar tired vein. Or worse, that it would be offensive to either party in this emotionally charged court case. Thankfully, it didn’t go down that path, as it instead made clear that the joke was on “us,” for having to hear nonstop about this somewhat farcical case between two problematic people. That said, it still didn’t amount to much humor beyond some enjoyable reactions to fecal matter from Kenan and co.

The... Less-Good

“Three Daughters": 5/10

Much like the premise of the sketch, I kept waiting for this to go somewhere noteworthy and it just didn’t, really. I appreciated the absurd ending and Mikey’s struggle to hold it together, but those weren’t enough to make this anything more than mediocre.

“Bratz Dolls": 5/10

This was sort of a weird choice for the first post-monologue sketch. It had all the makings of a great one, especially with the setup of the Bratz all having a thing for the main character’s dad, but just never really progressed. There were funny moments, in particular their closing lines to Sarah’s main character, but this was pretty meh on the whole.

“Guidance Counselors": 4/10

Yet another premise that seemed promising, at least in terms of potential for absurd humor, but just didn’t go anywhere. It wasn’t wholly unenjoyable, thanks to the energy Bowen and Ego brought, but for the most part just wasn’t funny.

Musical Performances

Post Malone (feat. Roddy Ricch and Fleet Foxes): 7/10

I hinted at my predisposition towards Post Malone in the introduction to this piece. The simplest way to describe my Post stance is that my dislike of his popularity and his 'appeal' to avid fans vastly dwarfs my actual dislike of him or his music, so I was willing to watch his performances with an open mind.

And on the whole, I thought he was quite good! I had never heard either track, but the first one, “Cooped Up,” seemed like it was quintessential Post Malone. By that I mean, forgettable lyrically, but sonically very simple and pleasant. His vocals were in good form, too, especially impressive on an infamously unforgiving stage, and it was good to see Roddy Ricch make an appearance after his would-be SNL debut in January was scrapped due to testing positive for COVID. And his second song, "Love/Hate Letter to Alcohol," was a radical departure for him. Imagine my surprise to see the performance begin with a backing chorus which included none others than the members of my indie faves, Fleet Foxes! This song had a really intriguing sound, the performance had cool imagery, and it was a much harder-hitting track than I’m used to from him. His vocals were a little more all over the place this time around, but when they were on, they were powerful.

OVERALL SCORE: 6.31 ('Comedy Only' score: 6.21)