SNL Scorecard: Dakota Johnson/Justin Timberlake

SNL came back for its second episode of the calendar year this past weekend, and if the inaugural episode of 2024 was a Gen Z dream, this past weekend was for the millennials. Yes, one week after the double threat of a young first-time host and a young first-time musical guest, both incredibly buzzy at the moment, we got a duo of a returning host and a musician that was THE show's mainstay in the late aughts/early 2010s.

Fun fact about this episode- it's hit or miss these days about whether I am able to watch the show live but this time, I did in fact watch live, but did so in an, ahem, elevated state, shall we say. And it may not shock you to hear that I really enjoyed it! So imagine my surprise when I awoke on Sunday and heard, first from a couple siblings, and then the entire Internet, that people hated this episode and found it extremely rough overall! Because I'm a (overly) serious (self-appointed) pop culture critic, I figured I would do my due diligence and rewatch a slew of sketches to see if the fault was in my stars.

And upon further review? Sure, a few of them were considerably less funny than I remembered, no doubt. But for the most part, I honestly stand by my initial reaction- this episode was fine. Wildly inconsistent, to be clear; the difference between the high points and low in this episode may be more stark than any other of this season. But, while I can certainly agree with the masses that I hope the show's quality only improves from here, and am disappointed the writers couldn't do more with a uniquely hilarious host, there were some real highlights to offset the lows.

One note in case you forgot- I know my rankings can seem a little arbitrary, and truthfully there have been times where even I will look back at scorecards and think "Now, why did I rate (x) an 8.5, if (x) from this other episode was only a 7...?". So, both to hopefully clear up my scoring system for any curious readers, but also really to help keep myself consistent, here is the rubric to reference:

10/10: Perfect, no notes

8-9.5/10: Very funny-to-hilarious, definite rewatch

6-7.5/10: Pretty funny-to-funny, but won't necessarily be a rewatch

4-5.5/10: Not BAD, but not particularly funny or memorable

1-3.5/10: Terrible/poor taste, to simply bad/unfunny

Here's the sketch-by-sketch breakdown of the 10th episode of the season:

Sketch of the Night

"Please Don't Destroy - Roast": 9/10

Another banger from the Please Don't Destroy trio, and perhaps one of their best yet. The mean-spirited humor was very tonally different from their usual stuff, but Dakota was the perfect host to play this particular sketch off of, both because of her perfect dry delivery, but also because she was the perfect foil for the hilarious nepo baby joke.

The Good

“Weekend Update": 8.5/10

As mediocre as the first couple episodes of 2024 have been, Weekend Update has been an absolute highlight. Building off their strong performance last week, Che and Jost were razor-sharp once again, and got a nice boost from Bowen Yang and Heidi Gardner's hilarious original characters.

“Home Videos": 8/10

This one started slow, and the overdone Southern accents made me nervous it would be a bust. But the sketch's big reveal was worth the buildup, and of course, that reveal became secondary to the humor of everyone’s reactions to the titular home video. Good stuff.

"Lost Bag": 7/10

You know I love me a good to 10-to-1, and this was peak 10-to-1 silliness. We need more Devon Walker!! We need more Devon Walker and Kenan Thompson in tandem!! Also, whether it was an intentional reference or not-- but especially if it was --I appreciate the running bit that Dakota Johnson may be in ISIS.

"NFL Championship Sunday Cold Open": 7/10

A cold open with James Austin Johnson doing a note-perfect impression…but it’s not a political sketch! That’s right, it’s a Jim Nantz impression and this is a football-related sketch. This was a fun change of direction, and while it wasn’t the funniest, most memorable sketch, I appreciated the sentiment, and was dying at the closing musical number, even if it led to some chaos.

“The Barry Gibb Talk Show: 2024 Election": 6.5/10

As bad as I feel for Dakota hardly getting air time in this sketch, and as much as I didn’t want this episode to just turn into the Jimmy and J.T. show... I'll admit, I forgot how much I love the Barry Gibb Talk Show. It is and was always the same format every time, but it's so sily and enjoyable, as evidenced by just about everyone nearly breaking (EXCEPT Jimmy Fallon?!? Bizarre times we live in). It probably helps that it had been a while; the crowd reaction helped give this the feel of the return of an old classic.

“Monologue": 6/10

Dakota Johnson is so naturally funny and has such a unique personality, that while it was no surprise she looked comfortable onstage and delivered her lines well, this was one of the few times I wish they had done less work on the monologue, and instead just kind of let her come out and be herself. That said, the cameos by the musical guest and his famous friend were fun, more so because they didn't end up dominating the night that rightfully should have been Johnson's.

The... Less-Good

"Big Dumb Cups": 5/10

Dakota killed me in this sketch - and also looked great, by the way. Is there a look she can’t pull off?  Chloe Fineman’s airheaded voice also was such a good choice. A pretty forgettable bit overall, though. This one definitely ran dry quickly, as did its predecessor "Big Dumb Hat," though I think this one was slightly funnier to me than the original, because of how absurd it became.

“Waiters": 5/10

Look, this was silly. It was dumb, I get it. But sheesh, if you read the comment section on the video, you would think that this sketch was 5 minutes straight of the most tasteless jokes anyone had ever made, or something. I’ll admit ‘botching easy words’ is just a weird thing that makes me laugh every single time. The more they said “chicken fongers,” the more I lost it, even if I can recognize the sketch overall wasn’t necessarily good— and it certainly was a weird choice to lead off the show. 

"Book Club": 3/10

The notes I had jotted by this sketch before rewatching it were: "Funny idea, just never really got there.

Timing might have thrown it off a bit." Upon rewatching...I'm not even sure it was a funny idea. This was one sketch that I am confused saw the light of day, and even the celebrity cameos felt weird and nonsensical rather than fun and inspired.

Musical Performances

Justin Timberlake (feat. Tobe Nwigwe): 6.5/10

It was pretty surreal to see Justin Timberlake back on the Studio 8H stage after a decade-plus away, but even more so as a musical guest only. Well actually I touched on this in my intro, and the artist himself addressed it while crashing Dakota Johnson's monologue: from 2003-2013, Timberlake became a beloved SNL star, hosting the show 5 times, pulling double duty as musical guest each time, and also making the odd celebrity cameo. From the Barry Gibb Talk Show, to his singing mascot sketches, to especially his collaboration with The Lonely Island on SNL Digital Shorts, he contributed more than one beloved sketch to the annals of the show's history.

But here Timberlake was, as musical guest only, and debuting new music for the first time in 6 years. To say public opinion is divided on J.T. currently would be an understatement; his invitation back to the show was not universally lauded, exactly. The question I had was whether Justin the entertainer, with new music in tow, would put on a set good enough to make everyone briefly forget how annoyed they were with him. And after the first song, I thought that might just be the case. His performance of not-yet-released single "Sanctified" was electric; the track felt reminiscent of the best instincts from his uneven 20/20 Experience: Part 2. The backing brass and vocals helped continuously up the energy, the singer's vocals and choreography were on point, and the cameo from Tobe Nwigwe (+ dancers) was phenomenal.

Unfortunately, in what one could argue is symbolic of his music career, his later performance fell enormously flat. "Selfish" is already an aggressively mid song (truly a bizarre choice for your first lead single in five years), and despite seemingly being an easier song to perform live, Timberlake was all over the place vocally, and the general lack of choreo, backing band, etc. only highlighted that more sharply.

OVERALL SCORE: 6.50 ('Comedy Only' score: 6.50)