The Sports Play From Hell
Editor's note: Tonight we take a brief pause from Daniel's chronicles of his brutal sports year to hear from a guest writer, who pinpoints a single play that will undoubtedly forever be his lowest point of sports fandom. Read and weep, Michigan fans.
Image Credit: mLive
I have long been waiting a while to vent about every small detail of this play, so strap in. This will be long and if it sounds like a rant, that is because it is.
Background
Our story begins in happier times: 2007. Michigan had just come from behind to beat Michigan State for the 6th straight time, and 10th time in the last 12 years. Mike Hart, Michigan’s senior running back, was asked about the game and responded with the now infamous “Little Brother” quote. This sparked fury in all of the angry couch burners and especially their angry gnome of a coach, Mr. Disrespekt himself, Mark Dantonio. Dantonio responded biblically, saying, “Pride comes before the fall.”
Luckily for our prophet in East Lansing, Lloyd Carr would retire at the end of the season and in came Rich Rodriguez. RichRod never was able to bring the flashy offenses of West Virginia and in addition, he fielded a defense that the Girls’ soccer team I coach could have scored points on. Some of Rodriguez’s biggest problems weren’t of his own doing, like a huge exodus of talent, but some very much were, like a defense that gave up 65 points in a win over Illinois. Yes, Illinois. The same powerhouse that fired two head coaches in a 7-month span. Michigan fired Rodriguez and he ended with a 0-6 record vs. Ohio State and MSU.
The Michigan Athletic department then proceeded to overcorrect the problem by hiring, Brady Hoke. Hoke loved Michigan to his core and knew all about Michigan’s vast tradition as a former Carr assistant. His tenure started out in magical fashion-- magical in this case meaning incredibly lucky-- with an 11-2 Sugar Bowl Victory. However, over the next three years, the team regressed each year with offensive lines that couldn’t protect the quarterback and practically escorted linebackers to the ball carriers. (If you don’t believe me, check out the -48 rushing yards picked up in the 2013 matchup with MSU.) Somehow during this time Hoke had beaten State and OSU once… Hoorah! The defining moment of the Hoke era came in 2014 when linebacker Joe Bolden placed a tent stake in the middle of the field to pump up his teammates, Michigan proceeded to get trashed, and Brady Hoke apologized for the incident like a scorned child. Needless to say, Hoke was fired at the end of that season.
In comes Jim Harbaugh, the coach with a track record of turing around any type of program and, more importantly, a Michigan alumnus. Harbaugh is known for his passion and the teenager-like tendency to not give a shit about someone else’s opinion. Just ask Colin Cowherd, Jim Schwartz, Pete Carroll, Nick Saban or better yet, just scan his Twitter account. As a Michigan fan, you knew Harbaugh wouldn’t apologize to anyone, let alone Dantonio.
The Game
As a Michigan fan that truly began passionate football fandom in 2007, I have only endured the dark ages. The worst seven years in the history of Michigan football coincided with Michigan State weaseling their way into relevance for a little bit, bringing their bandwagon rats with them. So as the MSU game was approaching with Michigan on a roll, it smelled, looked and tasted like it would FINALLY be a game I would enjoy. I was tired of hearing how disrespected MSU was because of their 2-star recruits, tired of Dantonio being the only person who brought up little brother, tired of MSU players being cocky or dirty players like Travis Trice (basketball, I know... I will save that for “Andrew’s Drunk Thoughts,” an award-winning series coming soon) and William Gholston. I was just tired of losing this one.
The game kicked off and I never left the edge of my seat, as it was closely contested throughout. Jourdan Lewis battled Aaron Burbridge in what felt like a pick-up basketball game. It was tough, physical, there was tons of trash talk and traded pass breakups and catches on every MSU possession. Michigan was not able to gain much on the ground, but a few offensive wrinkles allowed them some yards. The key difference in the game was Michigan’s special teams. The electric Jabrill Peppers repeatedly gave Michigan great field position, either by returning a kickoff/punt with dynamic moves and speed or by diving to fair catch a punt, saving Michigan 10-20 yards with each catch. Everyone knew about Peppers, but another unlikely hero was keeping Michigan in as well, Blake O’Neill. O’Neill was a graduate transfer punter, hailing from the land of kangaroos and Hugh Jackman! (Another famous Wolverine, am I right? Sorry.) His rugby style punts had pinned MSU deep either by landing in the corner or by simply waiting until the last second to let his coverage unit get downfield to recover the punt. Michigan State, meanwhile, had a coverage team that had allowed countless big kickoff returns and a kicker that, before he swung his arm into MSU lore, was hated for missing kick after kick. I laugh every time I think of Michael Geiger 50 years from now trying to remain relevant by running and swinging his arm but people just think he is crazy so they take him to a psychiatric hospital.
From here on out this may all be inaccurate, but I refuse to rewatch the game to check for accuracy. Anyways, Michigan gets the ball back up by 4 with around two minutes on the clock and runs a couple plays just to drain the clock, but the strong MSU defense stands tall and doesn’t allow a first down. So Michigan runs out their punt unit with 10 seconds (TEN SECONDS) on the clock.
The Bomb
As Michigan’s punt unit ran on the field, I remained in my mid-game stance, eyes peering out from a Michigan blanket huddled in the corner of my couch. My friend Trevor looks over at me and laughs, asking why I was so nervous because the game was all but in hand. I look over at him, shake my head, and mumble through my blanket, “Tell me when it is 00:00.” Freaking Trevor. The unit that had won Michigan the game up to that point had one more play before going to the locker room with the Paul Bunyan trophy in hand.
The snap is low because MSU’s linemen bowls over the long snapper-- which is a penalty, by the way, and it resulted in his injury. The low snap causes a bobble and fumble by O’Neill. He recovers it and I remember thinking 'Just fall on it,' moments before O’Neill tries a spinning punt. O’Neill gets hit from behind as he drops the ball and it squirts out over to a MSU player who outruns Michigan’s linemen with the help of a few blockers. Right before he crosses the goal line, Michigan’s All-American Jake Butt reaches out and starts to tackle him but alas, fate is not on his side.
So many small things could have changed the play. A penalty called would have negated the play and ended the game. O’Neill could have fallen on the bobbled punt and forced a 35-yard heave to the end zone for the attempted win. If the play had been five yards up the field, Butt tackles him at the 1-yard line and the game ends with an expired clock. If the winds of hell hadn’t blown the ball straight to a MSU player, then maybe Michigan recovers the ball.
Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland
My immediate reaction was to stand up and walk over to the mini-fridge, grab as much beer as I could, and walk to my room to listen to John Mayer and die alone. After 10 minutes and four beers, my housemates quietly asked if I wanted to go to Qdoba and for some reason I said yes. The only thing I remember from the rest of the night was my friend from MSU messaging our high school group chat and saying, “I’m sorry Andrew, no one deserves to lose like that…”. To which Willis (an Ohio State fan) replied, “Yes they do HAHAHAHAHAHA!” So when Willis’ dog dies tragically, you all know how I will respond. Other than that I think I just drank until I ran out of alcohol, at which point I might have stolen someone else's.
The next couple days were a struggle. I was student teaching and most of my students and teachers were MSU fans. Anyone who knows the self-restraint of high schoolers knows how much self-restraint it took me to not get into a fight to the death with a few of my more bold students. Some, however, silently respected me as one who is mourning the death of a loved one. I couldn’t procrastinate my work on Twitter or Facebook because of 76,392 reposts a day. To this day I still see reposts and I swear I am not making this up, I have seen at least one post, share or in some way rehashing of it EVERY WEEK SINCE. I didn’t know for a month that the MSU player who returned the kick had actually been injured on the play, and when I found out, my only response was, “That’s not good enough.” (Oops. I swear I’m a decent human.)
Even more frustrating, this win could have spared the nation from witnessing the 38-0 Alabama beatdown in the national semifinals. So really, when Michigan lost we all lost.
All of this to say, I look forward to our October 29th game. I pray for a raining down of "disrespekt" and burning couches in East Lansing as Michigan brings back a loaded team to take on Michigan State. In a rivalry that is all about respect (or a lack thereof), Michigan will have to take theirs back with a pummeling and maybe a little running up the score if possible. Luckily for Michigan fans, they have just the right coach for that.