Review: "I Am Not Your Guru"
Tony Robbins is one of the most famous, if not the most famous, self-help author and motivational speaker of our lifetime. You've all seen the video of Oprah running across the hot coals, right?
He did that.
He is a multimillionaire that teaches people self love, self respect, and how to overcome their troubles. This Netflix documentary, I'm Not Your Guru, takes us inside his most successful seminar "Date With Destiny" to see what it really is like to be in the prescene of the great and powerful Tony Robbins.
I watched I'm Not Your Guru 24 hours ago and I knew for a fact I wanted to write about it, but I figured I would sit and marinate on it for a while. Turns out 24 hours later, I’m still not sure what to think. Self-help and self-motivation are amazing and I think there is value in what Tony Robbins does in this film. At first glance he seems to really help people; he listens well, he lets you know exactly what he’s thinking, and informs you what he thinks the right answer to your problem is. Which, I guess, is ultimately a good thing.
The parts I do not like are the cult-like aspects, and the fact that for his yearly “Date with Destiny” seminar costs five thousand dollars to attend. One woman from Brazil sold her house, her furniture, everything to come to this seminar. I personally, have no introduction to or interaction with motivational speakers or life coaches. So my mind kept trailing back to the greatest movie of all time, Donnie Darko, and the famous (fictional) alleged child pornographer/self-help guru Jim Cunningham who makes you choose between fear and love to control your life. Fictional Jim Cunningham was the only motivational speaker I had to compare Tony Robbins to. Let's say I like Tony Robbins a lot more.
Anyway, each person that arrives seems to be looking for something different. One might be having marital trouble, while the person next to them is dealing with suicidal thoughts. You’ll find a range of stories and emotions in the 2,500 people in attendance. The film opens with Tony Robbins doing his thing, with a man that has struggled with thoughts of suicide. But instead of paying attention to this man and his story, all I can see is the headline from earlier this summer “30 People Burned At Tony Robbins Event” flashing through my brain. The guy is a sham, right? Wrong? I have no idea. Let’s figure it out.
His ability to read and respond to body language is undeniable- his ability to ask questions that lead to the answers his client, attendees (what’s the proper word for them here?) need to realize himself is a gift that many people definitely do not have. All we see in the two hour film is the exact seminar the cameras are let into. Nothing else. Nothing extra. It’s broken down into the 10 hour days over the course of a week. We get some one on one time with Tony but what’s his story? Do we learn anything more than what we previously knew from his books and public appearances? Maybe that his abusive mother was hardly 5’1? The little details might be new information, but other than that the story very much stays off of Robbins himself. At The end of the film he even makes a comment about who would want to watch a film about him.
Um, Mr. Robbins? Yes, hi. My name is Sierra. Sorry to bother you. I’m a new fan of yours. I'm an interested fan with a lot of questions. I would kind of like to watch a film about you. If that’s okay? If not, that’s okay too. Just let me know! Thanks for helping people and doing that thing you do! It is much appreciated, but maybe if it could cost less? Thanks. Sorry! I didn't meant to pry. Thanks again Mr. Robbins.
It seems that Robbins is genuine, that he has a love for people, and that he hopes and prays no one ever goes through the tough times he experienced. If they do, now they can use the tools they’ve been provided by Robbins to get out of these situations. He’s rough and tough when he needs to be, using extremely crass language-- he claims it's to make people uncomfortable and get them paying attention. Which I suppose makes sense...even if I was in a room alone with Will Smith reading from Harry Potter for 10 hours a day I imagine I would feel tired or bored eventually. (That was the most exciting thing I could think of.)
While researching him and his attendees, it seems like virtually every single person is thrilled, honored, and changed after coming back from the seminar. Delighted with their one-on-one groups, their new friends, their new relationships. One girl reconnected with her father after standing up and speaking at the seminar, only to tragically lose him 6 months after filming. But she owes that relationship to Robbins...after all, would she have reconnected in time? Who’s to say. One scene is particularly interesting and a bit scary, as Robbins yells (in his Robbins-like voice) some mantra about being better and loving yourself, the lights go out, the music get louder, and people's hands are raised in the air like they are praising some higher power. They close their eyes and mumble after him. It’s a little unsettling.
Tony Robbins has clearly gained traction and garnered the attention of all kinds of people. Even Julianne and Derek Hough attended the seminar for what seems to be the second year in a row. Those cameos did surprise me. But I can only imagine that director Joe Berlinger was disappointed in the narrative of the film. Tony Robbins seems closed off and just wants to showcase this seminar. They show meetings with his staff before and after each day of filming where they make last minute changes to cater to the specific audience. Other than that it’s a pretty basic walkthrough of the week-long seminar. I think the film is absolutely, 100% worth a watch to get a peek inside this strange spiritual week that changes so many lives. Overall the documentary reads as a full-length promotional video, which I’m sure is exactly how the motivational speaker himself constructed it. Always controlling the narrative.
A stray thought, a quote I jotted down in my notes but I’m no longer sure why-
“What makes human beings fulfilled and alive?”