The Year So Far: Best and Worst Radio Singles
For several years, I was out of the loop with regards to radio music. This probably started in my youth group days, when I began to reject all pop/hip-hop/rap that would consist of explicit language, or sexual references, etc. Then began a phase of rejecting all popular music because, well, it never could match the quality of my 'superior' music tastes, when the bulk of artists and bands I listened to would be far more likely to play on Pandora or in a Starbucks than on 103.5 or 95.7 FM. I still hold this opinion to an extent (that so much good music exists, so proportionally, very little of that good music can be found on mainstream radio), but over the last couple years, I have been more thoroughly exposed to radio music. For starters, I have often felt unable to proactively search out good, lesser-known music; I feel as if I don't have time and I don't know where to look. More significantly, though, between driving a car that isn't capable of playing my iPod, and being surrounded by radio-listening college friends, I frequently had no choice but to listen to the mainstream.
All this to say, I'm listening to the radio again, which is equal parts fun and so very disheartening. Here are the highlights and the lowlights of 2016 so far:
This is the kind of song that reminds me of that scene from Tommy Boy. You turn to your friend and say "Man, this is SO dumb," and they nod assent, but 30 seconds later, you're both jamming out to it. It's true that the lyrics are near-impossible to make out, both because of the 19-year old Desiigner's deep baritone voice and his occasionally rapid-fire verses-- I still can only decipher "I got broads in Atlanta," and "Legacies, family, somethin and somethin and Panda." (And in fact, that's not even right, it's "Black X6, Phantom/White X6 look like a Panda.") But that beat and hook are so addicting. It's a great summer, windows-rolled-down bumper, and there's a reason it first made its appearance on Kanye's "Life of Pablo."
This song has been everywhere this summer, which is unfortunate. There's no denying it's catchy: I've caught myself humming the tune far too many times. But, while at first I laughed off the hilariously awful lyrics, it's become too popular a song for me to find funny any more. Guys, this is so bad. There's much, much better hip-hop/R&B out there. And while celebrating the beauty of women from different nationalities and ethnicities is a sentiment we all should get behind, surely there's a better way to do that than with songs that say, "She from Africa, but she f--- me like she Haitian/Ass black, but them eyes lookin' Asian."
I was pleasantly surprised to find that this was in fact released as a single this year, though Coldplay's album "Head Full of Dreams" was a November release. This selection might be unfairly biased because, as you will likely discover time and time again on this blog, I am a proud member of both the Beyhive and the Coldplayground. But still, the unlikely wedding between one of the World's biggest celebrities and one of the World's biggest alt-rock/pop groups was a successful one. Coldplay went for a new sound, something they've been oft-criticized for not doing, and Beyoncé provided lovely vocals without stealing the show, something she often can't help doing. The result was an addicting club dance/Klezmer hit. (That is not a sentence I ever thought I'd type.)
Worst Radio Song: "7 Years," Lukas Graham
I know, I know. You're outraged. How could I hate such a sweet, sentimental song? Sorry. This song is unequivocally terrible. For one, it was already written 12 years ago by Five For Fighting, and "100 Years" is far better conceived than "7 Years." Secondly, his voice. I hate it. I guess that's subjective, but I'm genuinely puzzled how so many people like his voice. It's so...quivery. It sounds like he's a pubescent teenager constantly on the verge of tears. Finally, the lyrics are simplistic, strange and laughable. The Aging theme has been done time and time again, but with The Beatles' "When I'm Sixty-Four," and Five For Fighting's ballad, it was done tastefully, with sweet and/or mature ruminations about how life changes and goes by. Lukas Graham just sounds like he doesn't want to grow up, and thinks back fondly about when his mother bullied him into making friends and his father told him to find a wife at age 11 (?). Also, why is there a random snippet of a crowd going wild in the middle of the song? Presumptuous.
I'm not even going to link to this one, because it's so bad. Watch this version instead.