Premier League Predictions, Week 38
Well friends, it's finally here. This time tomorrow, another Premier League season will be in the books, a new champions will be crowned, three teams will wave goodbye to the league, and Liverpool will wish a farewell to a larger-than-life manager.
I write this from Liverpool, where tomorrow for both the first and last time ever, I will watch a Jürgen Klopp-led team play Premier League football. So you'll understand that if, unusually, my predictions are not foremost in my mind. But nevertheless, I persist, because I know how much you all need it. It's the least I can do.
Last week, much like the team I'm going to see tomorrow, I continued my bumbling end to this season. Things started well, with nice, easy predictions of a Manchester City win and Burnley loss coming to fruition. It quickly fell off there, with my bold predictions of Aston Villa beating Liverpool and Man United and Tottenham taking points off the league's top two all failing miserably. I will give myself partial credit for the Aston Villa prediction, since the takes of "Liverpool dropping points to the underdog," "Villa being inspired to finish strong in front of home fans," and "match has the potential to be a cracker" all aged finely. But my manufactured 2.5/5 week only ups me to 92/145 on the season, officially ending my dream of cracking 100.
But the end of the season is nigh, and the matches are less than 12 hours from kicking back off, so let's not waste any more time thinking about what could have been. Here are your 5 for the final Premier League matchday!
Brentford vs. Newcastle United
Newcastle’s midweek loss at Manchester United was damning, especially considering the Red Devils had far less to play for. Still, the Magpies have a chance, albeit a slim one, to end a fairly underwhelming season on a positive note by snagging a berth in next year’s Europa League. A large portion of whether they will depends on Chelsea, but Newcastle can do their part by winning at nearby Brentford. That part, I think they’ll do. Thomas Frank’s club escaped relegation— and really, for the last month or so, that hasn’t even been a question —but they’re a rough version of themselves compared to the Bees of years past, and even in their home finale, likely won’t have the manpower to hold off the talent at Newcastle’s disposal.
The Pick: Newcastle, 3-2
Chelsea vs. Bournemouth
At the same time, Chelsea will work to put the finishing touches on an impressive run down the stretch that salvages some dignity from what's been a frustrating, trophy-less season. A finish in the Top 6 and berth in next year's Europa League may not be the finish fans or pundits expected from the Blues after their record-setting spending spree last Summer, but it would be a good bit better than how prospects looked even just a couple months ago. Should Newcastle win their match, it puts the pressure on Mauricio Pochettino's team to get at least a point in this one to keep their European berth. But I think we've reached the point where wee can say you can bet on this team to pull through, especially at home against a team who has nothing to play for but fun.
The Pick: Chelsea, 4-1
Liverpool vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers
Tomorrow, all eyes will be on Anfield Stadium. Not, as Liverpool faithful would have hoped, because a title-deciding match is being played. In fact, the result of tomorrow's match mean nothing- the Reds will finish 3rd place, and Wolverhampton will finish in the bottom half of the table (but above the relegation zone), regardless of the result. But, it's the last time we'll see Jürgen Klopp, one of the all-time great managers and people, roaming the Liverpool touchline. It's hard to know what will happen in a game whose result is secondary to what immediately follows it, especially since what immediately follows promises to be a sad affair. The team could be fired up to win their home finale and send their beloved manager off with a win, or the emotions of the day could be too heavy and cause them to come out extremely flat. But I'll go with what I truthfully want to happen, which is this team paying tribute to the wild season they had, by conceding first only to rally in the 2nd half to an exciting 3-1 win.
The Pick: Liverpool, 3-1
Arsenal vs. Everton
I can't remember the last time a Premier League title race technically came down to the last day, but already felt over. Such is the effectiveness of Manchester City's demoralizing machine that, even though anything but a win by them leaves the door open for an Arsenal title, nobody except TV promotional advertisers and the most ardent Arsenal fans are bracing themselves for that scenario. Still, the Gunners can only control their own fate, and though Sean Dyche's fighting bus-parkers of Everton present a stodgier test on the final day than Mikel Arteta and co. may want, I have little doubt they will ultimately get the result they want as a nice cap on their terrific season, and need to keep the title hopes alive...
The Pick: Arsenal, 2-0
Manchester City vs. West Ham United
...and the hopes very well may stay alive for longer than people think! After all, this is the least dominant Man City team in some time (which is a bit like arguing "the worst Beyoncé album," sure, but I Am Sasha Fierce had a few flaws, is all I'm saying), and West Ham is far from a pushover. Consider the fact that West Ham, too, are playing for a manager who will be in charge for the last time, and have proven to be a thorn in the side for many a team this season. Consider the fact that a mere two years ago the Hammers threw a wrench in Manchester City's title race with a shock draw in the penultimate week. Consider the fact that the last two times City have been pushed to the final day in the title race, they've actually gone behind to their opponents at a certain point in the match.
But now that I've injected that bit of hope into Arsenal fans' veins.... let me draw it right back: lads. This is Pep Guardiola and Manchester City. They may very well start sloppily under pressure. They may even concede first! They may even go two goals down!! But they always, always, fuckin' always win, and will do so again.
The Pick: Man City, 3-1
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