The Year So Far: Best/Worst Sports Moments
And just like that, in the blink of a passionate sports fan’s eye, we’re more than halfway through 2016. Sports during these last 7 months have been, to put it mildly, an apocalypse-inducing nuclear detonation of surprises, featuring heroic performances and dream-crushing finishes. It’s only fitting that while we wait for the important (read: non-baseball) sports to begin again, we take time to look back on what made us (read: me) cry out of happiness and hysteria during the first half of 2016.
This article contains the best and worst sports moments of the first seven months of 2016. But it will also contain the best and worst sports moments of the first seven months of 2016, from my own, highly biased, point of view! "But Micah," you say, "you’re supposed to be unbiased!" You know what I say? You’re absolutely right. But this is my article and I'll do what I want.
Having put that out in the open, you should probably know what my biases (biasi? Yeah, I’ll go with that) are. Here they are, in order of biasedness (not to be confused with biasi):
1) I’m a homegrown Iowa boy. Having said that, I FREAKING LOVE THE IOWA HAWKEYES. As we Hawk fans say, “on the eighth day, God created Iowa”. Not having any pro sports in our state makes most Iowans huge NCAA fans. And, having said that, I FREAKING HATE THE IOWA STATE CYCLONES. These two will be the biasi you see showing up in my articles the most. I will unashamedly paint my biased masterpieces to the world. Got a problem with that? Deal. GO HAWKS.
Image Credit: Twitter
2) I love underdogs. No matter the sport.
3) My pro sports biasi: -Lifelong Minnesota sports fan. I appreciate your condolences. -Love (and respect) KD, hate (and respect) LeBron. -Hopped on the Warriors bandwagon in 2012 because of an Iowa kid named Harrison Barnes – that’s right, AHEAD OF THE CURVE, Y’ALL. -The NFL has absurdly skewed suspension policies... who in their right mind thinks assaulting a woman and *probably* deflating footballs in a blowout deserve the same punishment? Goodell does. -Baseball sucks. Hockey’s cool, but the fans are, at their best, grating.
4) Lionel Messi will forever be better than Cristiano Ronaldo, if only for the fact that he isn’t an arrogant pompous jerkface (objectively speaking).
Aaaaaand that about covers it! If anything else comes up, I’ll be sure to let you know.
So, after that unnecessarily long and excessive introduction, here it is: The Best/Worst Sports Moments of the First Seven Months of 2016, broken down by sport/league. Keep in mind, this list encompasses the calendar year, not the sporting season.
NCAA FOOTBALL
Best: None.
Worst: Everything. In the only significant college football game of 2016, Alabama won (Oh yeah, I hate the SEC. Freaking echo chamber). I mean sure, it was a decent game. High scoring, at least… Maybe it was the just horribly boring semifinals or the fact that Iowa SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE (curse you, L.J. Scott), but it just wasn’t enjoyable. I hardly even remember it, which puts it in the ‘Worst’ category for me.
Subjectively, it was the Hawkeyes getting utterly decimated at the hands of the Cardinal and shoulda-been Heisman Christian McCaffery. That was tough.
NFL
Best: Peyton Manning going out on top. Man, Peyton’s great. And that’s objective as well. How can you not like Peyton? Sure, the man could barely walk near the end. Sure, his defense was the only reason they stood a chance. Sure, he has a big forehead. But he’s just so great! Can’t you see him kicking back in his La-Z-Boy, wearing whitewashed jeans and telling dad jokes all day? I was happy to see a first-ballot HOFer leave a champion. Anyways, it was a great Super Bowl too. The underdog won (see: bias #2), there was a defining, game-changing play courtesy of Von Miller, and the commercials were halfway-decent. No Left Shark, though. That was disappointing.
Worst: Cam Newton. I respect the heck outta the guy. I think the playmaking and infectious smile that he unveiled over the course of the season are both huge additions to the NFL. But his performance in the Super Bowl was not up to his self-titled "Superman" standards. He shrank into the shadows on that Miller fumble -- I'm sure you've all seen it already. The ball was laying there, he could have jumped on it... but he didn't. We'll never know why, but it was atrocious. He also didn't win any points back in the interviews after the game and in the subsequent days. I don't blame him for being upset, but he needed to accept what happened and face the cameras without whining or complaining.
Subjectively, it was Blair Walsh shanking a bunny game-winning FG as time expired in the playoffs. Heartbreaking.
NCAA BASKETBALL
Best: Um, how about EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF IT? This was the best season of college basketball in a loooong time. I love this game, I’m only twenty-one, but I still remember correctly picking Maryland to win it all when I was six. Plus, I’ve watched highlights and read articles and books on just about every season since the Wizard of Westwood started taking names with some dude named Lew Alcindor. The upsets, the rivalries, the total anarchy that reigned over NCAA basketball from January 1 to April 5 was one that I’ll never forget – nor should anyone. AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT CHAMPIONSHIP!?
I honestly believe that game will be thought of as the greatest championship in NCAA history – and I watch ESPN 30 for 30’s “Survive and Advance” at least once a month. Lorenzo Charles is legendary, but Kris Jenkins will be immortal. I mean, that dude… Come on! I can’t even write a coherent sentence about him. I haven’t seen that big of a dagger since, well, ever. And if he hadn’t made that shot, then it would be Marcus Paige I’d be gushing about (Iowa represent)! That game ranks #1 all time for me, just above the Xavier v. Kansas State Sweet Sixteen matchup in 2010. And about 13,285,272 places above Northwestern State v. Iowa First Round matchup in 2006.
Image Credit: ESPN
Subjectively, January was a great month. Iowa knocked off MSU twice, including when they were #1 and at home, and beat a ranked Purdue twice. At one point, we were ranked #3 in the country. Good times...
Worst: I honestly cannot objectively think of a time that would qualify for the 'Worst' category. Maybe when the selection committee ousted Monmouth and we didn’t get any more worthwhile bench celebrations. Actually, that was the worst part of this year. All the ridiculous bench celebrations. It can be done tastefully. It’s a craft. But some people just want to watch the world burn.
Subjectively, pretty much every game after January 24, when the Hawkeyes lost. A lot. All good things must come to an end.
NBA
Best: There were three clear great memories that stick in my mind from the 2016 NBA season. First, the playoffs. Objectively, the NBA playoffs were great. No, it wasn’t rigged, it was just can’t-miss basketball. The best regular-season team in history was down 3-1 against a team with two of the top five players in the league (For the record, my KD love outweighed my Warrior bandwagon membership). Then, with a chance to solidify themselves as the best team in history, that same team blew their own 3-1 Finals lead in spectacular fashion. There was so much drama, I had to take a nap!*
*I also take naps when there isn’t drama. Or when there isn’t even basketball. I like naps.
Second, Kobe’s retirement. I’ve never been a huge Kobe fan. But even with my own ambivalence, I was transfixed by the Mamba’s last game. That was the same night as the Warriors’ quest for 73, and I planned on switching back and forth… that stopped after the first quarter. The atmosphere was just intoxicating. Kobe’s 60-point game on 50 shots (would we have had it any other way?) is objectively the best farewell performance of all time.
Lastly – the dunk contest. That was probably the second best dunk contest of all time, behind The G.O.A.T. vs. Wilkins. Gordon’s sitting dunk is arguably the greatest dunk ever. It should have been enough to win it, but LaVine’s free throw trifecta carried more weight. If I were Dr. J & Co, I woulda named ‘em co-champs. That contest was filthy.
Image Credit: CBS Sports
Worst: There really isn’t a ‘Worst’ moment that comes to mind, which usually means if something did happen, it wasn’t a huge deal. I’ve written enough already, right? Right. Moving on.
From this fan’s perspective, the NBA playoffs sucked. My favorite player had a chance to beat the best regular season team in league history three times. He lost. Then, the team that *usually* plays beautiful ball had a chance to beat the player I hate the most three times. They lost. Plus, there was a bat in my house during that span. It was a rough two weeks.
INT'L SOCCER
Best: The expanded tournament field in the Euro Cup was wonderful. The smaller countries who wouldn’t have been there otherwise proved that they could hold their own. Iceland, Northern Ireland and Hungary made for good soccer and gave casual and hardened soccer fans alike a reason to cheer.
Worst: I’m too distraught to write objectively about Copa America and Euro Cup. I won’t even pretend to conceal my biasi. Messi loses because of one mistake (though he carried his team through the tourney) and got skewered by media pundits and Internet trolls alike because of it. Ronaldo underperforms, draws his first three games, wins his fourth in Overtime and fifth on PKs and exits the Final in the 25th minute… and is hailed as a hero when his team wins without him. Whatever. If I can take any solace from this, it’s that it proves Ronaldo has a truly talented team around him, and disbands that argument in the Messi v. Ronaldo debate.
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Well, all of you who have sworn off sports in 2016, you should now be caught up to this point! I can only look forward to the rest of 2016 with a hopeful heart. It promises to be filled with intrigue and solid storylines. We just have to get through baseball season…
In the meantime – USA! USA! USA!